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The Woman in the Ordinary
Marge Piercy

The woman in the ordinary pudgy downcast girl
is crouching with eyes and muscles clenched.
Round and pebble smooth she effaces herself
under ripples of conversation and debate.
The woman in the block of ivory soap
has massive thighs that neigh,
great breasts that blare and strong arms that trumpet.
The woman of the golden fleece
laughs uproariously from the belly
inside the girl who imitates
a Christmas card virgin with glued hands,
who fishes for herself in other’s eyes,
who stoops and creeps to make herself smaller.
In her bottled up is a woman peppery as curry,
a yam of a woman of butter and brass,
compounded of acid and sweet like a pineapple,
like a handgrenade set to explode,
like goldenrod ready to bloom.

Your breath is always there with you. There’s nothing to buy, no place to get it from, no special clothes to put on. You can tap into it at any moment. It’s better than a chemical substance or acting out compulsively to shift how you feel inside, and without any negative side effects to boot. All that breathing through your belly will cost you is your time, your attention, and your patience. And if you don’t think you have much of the latter, it’ll help you to cultivate it, with each rhythmic breath that is breathed in the practice.

Belly breathing is done when you allow your breath to move in and out of your belly with a soft, focused attention. It can be done lying down on the floor or sitting up in a chair. It’s a popular practice with those who want to enhance their connection to their breath, to detoxify at a cellular level, to learn to relax and to deepen their connection to the Stillness within.

It’s also a practice that is particularly important for those who have experienced psychological trauma or who are recovering from addiction. It’s deeply relaxing, and helps to create a feeling of psychological safety inside. And besides, breathing through the belly in a slow and rhythmic way simply feels good to the bodymind. This is reason enough to practice.

You’d need nothing in particular to get started. No special outfit or fashionable water bottle (not that there’s anything wrong with either). Just the willingness to travel inward and be present to your breath in your body.

Would you like to give it a go and see what it’s like to belly breathe? If you do, then here’s what you can do. If you have a Yoga mat, consider lying it down in a favorite spot where you can be alone with yourself without distraction. If you don’t have a mat, then laying down a blanket on the floor would work just fine. You can gather up a foam block or a pillow and put it beneath your head, that would be okay too. You might even want to cover yourself with a blanket. Once you’ve got everything together, then click on the link below. It’ll take you to a special (unedited) audio recording, close to 15 minutes in length, that’ll guide you through a belly breathing practice. So, if you’re up for it, do what you need to do to get ready, and I’ll meet you on your mat. Note: This is a slow moving practice. Please give it your undivided attention -and stay safe.

Belly Breathing1

At the end of your practice, consider taking a moment to reflect on what the experience was like for you. How did it feel to be breathing through your belly? Where did your mind go? How did you feel after the practice was over? I welcome any thoughts you may have about belly breathing in general, or the audio practice in particular. Reflecting on how a practice makes you feel is as important a part of a Yoga practice as is the practice itself.

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If you love your body, it’ll love you back with good health. If you love your breath, it’ll love you back with inner peace.  If you love your breath as it moves in, and through and out of your body, and do so with the same devotion you’d give to a beloved friend, you’ll have started a love affair that’ll only deepen over time.

In healing,

Gloria

What would happen if you were to do an experiment?   An experiment that would explore what it might be like to step out of an identity you’ve been tending for a long time (without knowing it) and into a new one?  In fact how about doing the experiment right now?  If you’re okay with it allow yourself to close your eyes, pause, exhale deeply, and take a moment to imagine what it might look like if you were to no longer be living with the pain you’re living with now?  How would you feel?  What would you be doing with your time?  Who would you be hanging out with? What would matter in your life now?  Who could you become?  It’s all worth imagining, as doing so could be the beginning of a whole new life and a whole new you.

For many of us however, the thought of change can feel oh so frightening.  It can keep us trapped where we are, even when we know we don’t want to be here anymore.   I’m going to let you in on a little secret:   To change is safe.  It’s built into the design of our being to move forward in life.  Some would say it’s why we’re here on this planet to begin with, to learn how to flow with the energy of life that is within us and all around us all the time.  It’s not change itself, but the resistance to change, that can prove to be so threatening to our health and well-being.  It stimulates suffering and stress in a way that can compromise our health overtime, not to mention prevent us from being present to life in the here and now.

So, where are you at with the thought of moving out of familiar pain?  Do you resist it?  If so, why might that be?  Big questions.  I welcome your thoughts below.

In healing,

Gloria

• It is a process inherent to the human experience.
• It unfolds at its own pace.
• It has a rhythm all its own.  If honored, it will guide us gently through the “stuff” we need to go through to reconnect with the felt sense of being Whole.
• It teaches us about listening inwardly to the signposts inside and outside ourselves that can usher us into a new way of being.
• It also teaches us about truth, the value of speaking and feeling our truth.
• It teaches us about the sovereignty of our feelings and of their forgotten ability to be our teachers, through the stories they can tell us about where we’ve been and what we’ve experienced in life.
• It is versatile.  It can happen through more than one modality.
• It can be shaped to fit us, our needs, our preferences, our notion of what healing is about.
• It challenges our belief in whether we can, or cannot, heal.  Whether we think we can, or cannot, is true, and will influence the outcome of our efforts.
• It is possible.
• It can happen.
• It is real.

Through my own efforts I believe I have become peaceful.  And yes, I have used both Yoga and psychotherapy to get there, or rather, here.  For this enhanced subjective experience, while not complete, I am still very grateful.  The question now is “Will it happen for you?”

Your comments about this important personal journey are welcomed below.  I’d love to hear from you.

On a related note, I’m getting closer to finishing my very first e-book whose working title is “Becoming Peaceful:  An Introduction to the Journey Through Trauma and Addiction”.  If you’re interested in getting a copy, please let me know and I’ll make sure one is made available to you.

The two days of this 5 day event I was able to attend were excellent and very full, with 3 keynote morning lectures and 2 afternoon workshops with the presenters of choice.  I wanted to attend this conference specifically to learn about sex addiction, and did so in sessions titled ‘Understanding Multiple Addictions’ and ‘Money, Sex and Power’  from Patrick Carnes, PhD, who has been a pioneer in the field of sex addiction for the past 40 years.  I was also interested in the work of Robert Scaer, M.D. and his presentations called “New Theories of Dissociation and Healing’ and ”Trauma, the Freeze Response and Its Clinical Syndromes’.   This all may sound dry and boring, but I was riveted to what each presenter had to say.  And neither disappointed either.  Both were seasoned professionals who offered engaging and fascinating presentations full of new learning for the writer.  What I took away from this event was how much more science knows about how trauma impacts the brain, and from there how to treat it effectively.  (And body centered approaches for treating trauma, including Yoga, are among  the modalities of choice.  WooHoo! )   I took away a re-confirmed understanding of the impact of trauma on the development of single or multiple addictions.   I also took away a humble respect and quiet admiration for the doctors who presented at this conference.  There are very smart and dedicated people out there helping those who want the help in their own unique ways.  The only thing I didn’t like about this event was I couldn’t attend all 5 days.

Overall, this was an excellent training experience.  It deepened and broadened the Yoga and psychotherapy work that I do.  Now I have an additional and proven way that is rooted in the Yoga tradition and researched by modern science of meeting people in the moment who are struggling with the effects of psychological trauma, and of paving the psychological way for their return to the Harmony within.

“Be careful with your thoughts,  for they become your words.

Be careful with your words,  for they become your actions.

Be careful with your actions,  for they become your habits.

Be careful with your habits,  for they become your character.

Be careful with your character,  for it becomes your destiny.”

Anonymous

So pay attention to your thoughts, words, actions, and habits for together they will shape your character. Your character will shape your destiny. The power is in fact yours to exercise around how your life unfolds. Why be careful? Because not being careful would be like giving your life away.

There is only one decision you need to make;

either you are working at your Freedom,

or you have accepted your Bondage.

Robert Adams

May 2010 bring you all you need to support you in your healing journey.

Warmly,

Gloria